And the saga of deciding what book to take on vacation continues. Usually I pack three or four (or five) novels, so that I have one for each plane ride and then several to choose from during the trip, in case I get bored or in case something turns out to suck. This year I am hampered by my weird and hopefully temporary distaste for anything too contemporary. Or maybe my post-exam stress syndrome is just manifesting itself in a bout of extreme pickiness. Either way, I have already rejected the following texts, based on the tried-and-true “read the first couple of chapters and see if it puts me to sleep” test:

• George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss. Probably I should just suck it up and take this one along, because I read well over fifty pages without any difficulty. And it’s George Eliot so I would probably warm up to it eventually. But it’s so twee. I don’t read Eliot for twee.
• J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion. Too many made-up words. I just can’t do it, not when I’m already going to be trying to communicate in a language I don’t actually speak.
• George Sand, Horace. I thought this one might work because I had such good luck with Vanity Fair the last time I went on vacation. But Sand is not Thackeray. This still looks like a good read but it is not the right book for this trip.
• Alexandre Dumas, The Three Musketeers. I really thought this would work. The Count of Monte Cristo is such a perfect vacation book! But the first chapter annoyed the hell out of me and I put it back on the shelf.
• Charlotte Brontë, Villette. Eh. I really want to read The Tenant of Wildfell Hall but I was apparently lying a while ago when I said I’d ordered a paperback copy of the latter, because I don’t seem to have one.

The following are still under consideration:

• George MacDonald, Lilith. A surprising front-runner, considering how much I hated Phantastes. But I read the latter for my least favorite class ever, and that might have colored my view. Anyway, this is the one that has grabbed me the most. If I go with this choice I will probably need to scrap my one-book rule and take another.
• Ann Radcliffe, The Mysteries of Udolfo. Yes, I was just deriding her yesterday, but this passed the first chapter test.
• Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey. This was really my first choice, because it fits with my recent Jane Austen kick. But this novel has three drawbacks for a vacation read: one, it is really too short. Two, I have read it before. And three, I didn’t really like it the first time.
• J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit. Also short and also one that I have read before, but I remember almost nothing about it except what one can gather from reading the Rings trilogy.
• J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. This would be the Hail Mary pass of vacation books. I don’t want to take this one because it is huge and yet will take me no time at all to finish. I’ve already read it once, but I have completely forgotten most of it. I should probably reread it before the next book comes out, but I’d really rather listen to it than read it. Mostly I just don’t want to be the dumb American reading Harry Potter on the beach.
• Patrick Chamoiseau, Texaco . Jeremy wants me to read this and if I don’t take it along, he is going to mock me and nag me all through the trip and I will probably kill him. But if I were in the mood to read a contemporary novel, I would have to read The Years With Laura Díaz or even the not very contemporary The Brothers Karamazov for the book club. Anyway, it is my vacation and I am not in the mood for post-colonial craziness.

I will probably go with Lilith and Northanger Abbey. But maybe I’ll bring Ann Radcliffe along just in case.